There are going to be some things in your life that you will feel embarrassed about, even though you shouldn’t. Asking for help. Failing your math test. Seeing your father cry.
Others will feel less universal- that fanfiction you wrote when you were deep into your X-Men phase, the fear of running into the boy that broke your heart, the time a rectal surgeon stuck his finger up your butthole while you accidentally maintained eye contact with your mother. These will feel like secrets.
Here’s the thing you guys: you’ve got to let that go. Seriously. You’ll feel horrendous for the first ten minutes and then you will feel better.
For the past year I have wanted to start a blog about my experiences with Crohn’s Disease- a blog for people like me, who are proud and embarrassed and frustrated to be living with a chronic illness that is so often treated as the butt of everyone’s jokes. And several times, I almost did. But then I thought, “Am I ready for this? For random strangers to know the intimate secrets of my heart and butthole? Will boys still like me? Will I be just another crass and cranky crohnie playing into the potty humor that I currently detest? What if everyone hates it, or worse, what if no one cares at all?”
But I’m tired of being embarrassed. I’m tired of hiding the particulars of my painful surgeries from inquiring friends. I’m tired of people asking me, “What will happen if you eat that?” (never an ok question) and feeling compelled to cast my eyes downward and shrug demurely instead of being gutsy enough to tell the truth (diarrhea.)
I want to find the courage to speak up. Finally. And to start this blog! And to share it! Even if it gets weird, even if I’m worried what everyone might think, because when I was newly diagnosed and scared and ashamed it really would’ve helped me.
More than anything, I really want to reach people. So if you’re reading this and you know someone who is struggling with an illness, especially one that people deem as “embarrassing,” or “too much information,” then please forward this along to them. And if you’re reading this and find yourself identifying with any of the things I’ve said, please email me at email@example.com. I would like to be your friend!
So, here it goes. I’m pressing the little “publish” button. And I think I’ll feel horrendous for a little while, and then, I hope, a little bit better.
9 thoughts on “Hello Friends! So… I’ve started a blog?”
Shannon I’m so proud of you! Blogging is scary and beautiful all in one experience. I know we haven’t seen each other in forever, but you have been so supportive of my blog this year on social media and I am truly grateful. Good luck! From what I can see, you have a wonderful support group and fandom to follow you along 🙂 happy new year old friend
It’s hard expressing how you feel (and even harder online!) thank you so much for opening up about Crohns. Continue blogging 🙂 can’t wait for more posts! 🙂
I have Crohns, so thanks already for helping me feel a little less alone in the world of butt jokes 😀
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Thank you for make me smile shannon 🙂
You are an inspiration to many. Your openness and candor is, I think, going to help many in their challenges.
After seeing you on paint chips I want to agree with the person who said you were beautiful. From what I could tell, you have an inner beauty as well, and a joy that is infectious.
Hi! 🙂 From now I’m going to follow your blog… now you have an internation audience! 😀
Thanks for your words, and don’t give up. Greetings from Italy 🙂
Reblogged this on An unknown writer's diary.
Hey Shannon, I really like your writing style and I sincerely hope you will keep posting. Even though I do not have Crohns, I believe that this blog will be a great support for those who have it. And also for those who don´t, because when people know more about that disease, the less they will joke about it. Also, now I know that “What will happen if you eat that” isnt an ok question, so if I´ll ever meet anyone with the disease I can avoid beeing rude. So thanks for educating and inspiring me. Lots of love from Austria 🙂
You’re just AWESOME